The Mark of the Rani review [Pip and Jane Baker]

The Doctor goes to the year - umm, see below - and encounters the Master (disguised as a scarecrow for reasons), the Rani (armed with an interesting spec and some of the worst dialogue) and a cavalcade of incomprehensible Englishmen. And to top it off, he's accompanied by Peri.

When and Where: The "where" is Killingworth, England. The "when" is a little more complicated. As Thomas Liddell is Lord Ravensworth at this point, this story must take place after 17th July 1821. Humphry Davy died on 28th May, 1829 and is to be in attendance of the meeting at Killingworth, meaning that this is before 29th May 1829. The season is clearly autumn, so this story takes place in an autumn between 1821 and 1828.

In terms of subjective timelines, for the Doctor and Peri this is at some point between Vengeance on Varos and The Two Doctors. For the Master it's between Winter and The Ultimate Foe and for the Rani it's some time before Time and the Rani.

The Doctor's Case:

• A Good Quotation:
• "What's he up to now? It'll be something devious and over-complicated. He'd get dizzy if he tried to walk in a straight line."
• "They're carnivores. What harm have the animals in the fields done them? The rabbits they snare, the sheep they nourish to slaughter. Do they worry about the lesser species when they sink their teeth into a lamb chop?" It's hardly groundbreaking but for a Pip and Jane script this is practically poetry.
• What is Peri's character spec? After you've listed American, whiny and supremely unfashionable, all you have left is "botanist". Like Mel after her, who despite being a computer programmer never exercised any real skill with computers on TV, Peri almost never gets the chance to show any knowledge in her supposed field. This is one such example, where Peri gets to talk about the native plants and animals and, for a short amount of time, feels like she has had experiences outside of her tenure as a companion. It's important that companions get the opportunity to show individual skills that we've not seen from their predecessors. It makes them less interchangeable.
  
• We've had the suave Master, the trickster that is the Monk and the power-hungry War Chief. The latest addition to the ever-increasing list of renegade Time Lords is the Rani. Like the Monk, she isn't evil - she's a chemist who's pursuing scientific research to quench her own professional curiosity, but without any morality or care for her test subjects. It's a far more interesting stance than the pantomime Ainley Master and makes her one of the more notable villains of the recent seasons.
• The Rani's TARDIS is beautiful but has the side effect of making the Doctor's and the Master's TARDISes look incredibly basic as a result. Couldn't the Doctor have made off in this one at the end?
• Horrifically unnatural dialogue isn't Pip and Jane's only forte: they're also very good at writing the Sixth Doctor, which they will do again in Terror of the Vervoids and The Ultimate Foe.

The Valeyard's Case:

• A Bad Quotation: Pip and Janeisms:
• "You suspect another motive?" Are we sure this is Peri? It must be some sort of switch like Amy's Flesh avatar in series 6.
• "Spare me the dubious pragmatism."
• "Fortuitous would be a more apposite epithet!"
• "Murderous would be more apt." Definitely not Peri.
• "Who's this brat?"
• "Doctor? Do you get his drift?"
• "Finito TARDIS. How's that for style?"
• "All the way down. To the bottom."
• "Grandiose schemes of ruling the universe will mean nothing if that dilettante Doctor is still at large."
• "Now perhaps you'll accept there are more things in heaven and earth than are ever dreamed of in your barren philosophy."
• "I'm a scientist. I've calculated the odds, and they and not idiotic pride dictate my actions." / "You intellectual microbe."
• The dodgy accents of the English working class are often incomprehensible. It's truly terrible and makes the admittedly believable setting lose any and all credibility.
• One of the more interesting parts of this story is Miasimia Goria, a planet over which the Rani reigns and whose people are restless and aggressive because of her experiments. What are we doing in a dull Industrial Revolution village filled with accents less convincing than Nicola Bryant's when this is going on? A sleepless and lawless planet is infinitely more interesting a setting.
• Another plotline, albeit a retread of The King's Demons, is the Master deciding to change the course of history upon learning of the gathering in Killingworth. Unlike Miasimia Goria, this has absolutely no bearing on the story and is very quickly forgotten about.
• Peri's dress is vile. Truly, truly vile.
• The violence of the Luddites is wholly unconvincing, with the tapping of the chain the Doctor clings to in the pit being particularly awful.
• Another TARDIS malfunction?
• This story was so boring that it's taken more than a month to write this.

I'll Explain Later:

• Kew Gardens wasn't open until 1840. Why was the Doctor trying to land there in the 1820s? And why in the autumn when the outdoor gardens would be much less impressive?
• Why is the Master a scarecrow and what does he have against birds? In fact, what's he doing in the 1820s in the first place?
• How does the Rani know about the events of Planet of Fire and the Master's supposed end?
• Why does the Master refer to the Doctor's time machine as "the TARDIS"?
• What was Peri thinking pushing the Doctor down the hill?
• How come the Doctor's key can open the Rani's TARDIS?

His Constant Companion: The Master kills a dog and a man with his Tissue Compression Eliminator. One of the peasants falls down the well. The Master kills one of the Rani's assistants. The Rani kills three of her goons.

This Reminds Me...:

• We visit Miasimia Goria in Planet of the Rani.

The Inquisitor's Judgement: It's been almost two months since I reviewed Vengeance on Varos. Why has it been so long? Because The Mark of the Rani was so boring and so awful that I found myself no longer enjoying writing reviews and almost stopped completely. Gosh, is it bad. The Rani is a good idea but this story is plagued with elements that go nowhere, atrocious dialogue, poor performances and a complete lack of any sparkle. I might have to rethink my position as a season 22 apologist. As a Sixth Doctor fan, this is embarrassing. This story is terrible and earns itself an F.

Doctor Who (Season 22)

Vengeance on Varos  |  The Mark of the Rani  |  The Two Doctors