6. Series 4 (Miracle Day)
I'm sure that it will come as a surprise to absolutely nobody that Miracle Day is at the bottom of the list, but I wish it didn't. Miracle Day is based on such a simple but brilliant concept - one day, everybody stops dying - and it's true that the series didn't explore it very well.
The most interesting part of Miracle Day is how society has to change to adapt to this new world, which is precisely why Dr Vera Juarez is one the best of the American newcomers: we get to see how hospital treatment has to change and hear about things like bodies becoming incubators for diseases. But that's just the problem. These ideas are introduced and immediately dismissed. They're just mentioned and not remotely explored.
A common complaint is that Miracle Day is "too American". And it's a perfectly valid complaint. The helicopter scene in The New World stands out as one that feels entirely misplaced in the world of Torchwood which has never relied on such spectacles. It's also double the length of Children of Earth, meaning that we get episode after episode of total filler that do nothing to further the plot.
Whilst Gwen Cooper is as great as ever and it's lovely to see more of her parents and meet baby Anwen, Jack is sidelined for the entire series and our new Torchwood members - Rex and Esther - are nothing to write home about. Rex is more unpleasant than even Owen ever managed to be and Esther is about as interesting as a damp flannel. Jilly Kitzinger is a magnetic character that I enjoyed every minute of, but it's true that her and Oswald Danes's storyline is ultimately pointless.
Best episode: Immortal Sins. Rather telling that it has almost nothing to do with the Miracle.
Worst episode: End of the Road. Did anything happen in this one? Jack finds a null field panel and Nana Visitor dispenses a tonne of exposition in a thankless role before getting blown up. It's a write-off.
5. Series 1
Very rarely does Series 1 hint at the greatness that is to come. It's a shaky season which goes from mature and well-crafted (Random Shoes, Out of Time) to immature and nonsensical rubbish (Cyberwoman, End of Days) and everywhere in-between.
In trying to be grown-up, Series 1 is frequently embarrassing, giving us sex gas and pterodactyls fighting Cyberwomen whilst the first series of The Sarah Jane Adventures sensitively covers topics like dementia. Our regulars are unlikeable, with John Barrowman unable to convince as the gruff and broody leader that the once fun Captain Jack Harkness has become and Owen being the worst human being alive whilst Ianto does very little, Tosh is entirely inaccessible and the initially likeable Gwen embarking on an affair that could make sense but doesn't.
However, there are times that Series 1 shines. Ghost Machine shows a glimmer of maturity in the early episodes before we're given Countrycide, a disturbing episode which brings together our disparate team and shows us that perhaps they can work together. Other than those, we have to suffer a lot of crap before getting to Random Shoes, the show's superior answer to Love & Monsters; Out of Time, a touching story where three people from the 1950s prove more relatable than our main cast ever are; and Captain Jack Harkness, which I'm sure everyone loves for Jack but which I rate highly for being a good showing for Tosh. Better than Greeks Bearing Gifts.
Best episode: Out of Time. The aliens are ditched in favour of a quiet affair with a plane from the 1950s landing on a 2000s runway and shows us how the three aboard adapt to our world.
Worst episode: Tough one. Cyberwoman has gone down in notoriety, but the abysmal End of Days is a close second.
4. Series 2
Series 2 might only be one place above Series 1, but between them is a gulf, this series ironing out some of the worst qualities of the first. Ianto has a personality (even if it is a different one every week) and Owen is no longer the most obnoxious man this side of the Severn Bridge, the trilogy dealing with his death giving us some well-needed insight to the character. Fragments does this to varying effect with each member of Torchwood (bar Gwen) and is a standout episode, although it does seem an odd choice to leave Tosh and Owen's origin story until the episode before they die.
This series gives us Dr Martha Jones, a character that I did not especially warm to in Doctor Who but here, separated from the Doctor that she pined for, she is a revelation. Unfortunately, she's only properly utilised in Reset, being wasted in her other two appearances, but she brings out the fun side of Jack that has mostly been missing in Torchwood in favour of John Barrowman acting butch.
Most of the embarrassing attempts at being grown-up have been left behind, but the series isn't perfect. Gwen being far more likeable but a love triangle springing out of nowhere between her, Jack and Rhys but fortunately this little subplot is quite easy to ignore. Gray makes for a dull villain and we still get the occasional clunker like Owen's "Let's all have sex" in Sleeper. All in all, though, this is a big improvement on the first series.
Best episode: Adrift. Are we sure Chibnall wrote this?
Worst episode: Exit Wounds. A mess of an episode which still manages to end rather well, with Owen and Tosh's heartbreaking deaths.
3. Series 5 (Aliens Among Us)
Now we get to the first audio series. As their placement in this list will tell you, the Big Finish continuation contains some of the very best Torchwood stories. Reintroducing us to Torchwood with new characters Tyler, Mr Colchester, Ng and Orr whilst bringing back Jack, Gwen, Rhys, Andy and (SPOILER ALERT) Yvonne Hartman, Aliens Among Us finds the middle ground between the episode Series 1 and 2 and the overarching stories of Children of Earth and Miracle Day.
In terms of our new characters, Tyler is a flawed individual that is never remotely as detestable as early Owen and Mr Colchester is a wonderful addition and a subversion of the young and sexy team members we've had before. Orr is not utilised especially well during this series, being given precious little to do but Samantha Beart always knocking it out of the park, going from laugh-out-loud hilarious to tear-inducing in a moment.
It's unfortunate about Eve Myles's availability but Alexandria Riley is a stellar actress and lessens the feeling of Gwen's absence. Similarly, Jack has periods of absence or playing only a tiny role, perhaps due to him being in the US? Thank God, then, for Tracy-Ann Oberman as Yvonne Hartman. We really did not know what we were missing when Yvonne died in Doomsday. She is outstanding.
Best episode: Zero Hour. Spoiler alert - the Tim Foley episodes are all great.
Worst episode: Escape Room isn't bad, but it's easily the weakest, perhaps because escape rooms by their nature don't translate well to audio.
2. Series 6 (God Among Us)
Just when you thought Big Finish couldn't do any better, they manage it. The Sorvix are quickly written out, which was for the best as they never really went anywhere, and our overarching story instead involves Jacqueline King (AKA Sylvia Noble) as God, a truly inspired casting decision. Of course God is a Scottish woman who likes tea and sandwiches.
Tyler gets his redemption and Orr is given far more to do than in the last series, becoming one of, if not the, most important characters. The strange coupling of Yvonne and Andy oddly works, the writing and acting being very convincing. We're also joined by Norton Folgate, who first appeared in Ghost Mission and is always hilarious, giving us some great material in Another Man's Shoes.
Best episode: Hostile Environment. A devastating story about the important issue of homelessness in Cardiff.
Worst episode: This series doesn't have a bad one. Perhaps the least interesting is Eye of the Storm which gets us from A to B but offers little else.
1. Series 3 (Children of Earth)
Obviously.
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