Human Resources review [Eddie Robson]

Lucie is working her first day at Hulbert Logistics. The Daleks, the Tomorrow Twins, Phobos... They were all dreams. So was the long-haired Doctor in his bright blue box, who just so happens to be on his way to save her.

When and Where: For the Doctor and Lucie, this is just after No More Lies and at some point before Dead London. For the Cybermen, this is at some point after The Tenth Planet and before The Tomb of the Cybermen.

The Doctor's Case:

• A Good Quotation:
• "Any more rope-gags?"
• "Take a letter, Miss Miller." / "I'll take four letters and make a word out of them if you're not careful."
• "What are you doing?" / "Shredding." / "Shredding what?" / "Whatever I can find." / "Why?" / "I'm hoping it might annoy somebody."
• A key part of a number of Moffat-written episodes is the cold open. There was River's exciting departure of the Byzantium in The Time of Angels, the movement of Van Gogh's painting through time in The Pandorica Opens and the chase scenes in Day of the Moon. Here we have another good teaser, with Lucie having been taken to, of all places, the office job that she got before she was swept up by the Time Lords, and the Doctor is given a time ring to save her. Like Heaven being an office in Dark Water, Lucie having been kidnapped for an office job at Hulbert Logistics is an intriguingly strange premise. 
• Hulbert Logistics brings in humans of a non-military background and has them wage war on planets by translating their tasks into a form that they can understand whilst ignoring that which doesn't fit into the narrative. Their latest mission: wiping out the Cybermen on Lonsis. This is a great idea that almost sounds like something out of Terry Pratchett. Doctor Who is very good at combining the ordinary with the extraordinary, and that's excellently done here. The keen-eyed, however, might notice the office-robot on the cover. I didn't.
• The Cybermen here don't speak like the Cybus models in Rise of the Cybermen/The Age of Steel, nor like the Cybermen of The Tenth Planet. They're somewhere in-between, with the effect of the modern ones but the strange enunciation of the classic. Their screams are an amazingly horrible thing to listen to.
• The surprise arrival of the Cybermen at the end of Part 1 is brilliant, bookending this series with two of the Doctor's greatest enemies: the Daleks and the Cybermen. This is also the earliest in their timeline that we've seen for quite a while, excluding their origin in Spare Parts.

The Valeyard's Case:

• Although the office scenes are funny and bizarre, Part 1 does take a while to get going as a result.
• Lucie being placed in the TARDIS by mistake is a little underwhelming a reveal.

Witness Protection: Hulbert found Lucie to be a promising new addition to his company but she was taken by the Time Lords and dropped into the TARDIS before she could arrive at the office. Hulbert sent the Headhunter after her because he was afraid that a competitor had nabbed her and that they would be able to learn the secrets of his mental manipulation from her. In actuality, the Time Lords had taken her because the CIA had altered her life using a quantum crystaliser to keep her from becoming a right-wing dictator and they didn't want her exposed to the quantum crystaliser aboard one of the Hulbert offices, as it could destroy her. Lucie was, however, the wrong woman.

I'll Explain Later:

• If the Time Lords have access to technology such as the quantum crystaliser, why is this the only time it's used? It would have been handy in the Last Great Time War.

This Reminds Me...:

• The Cybermen have never heard of Telos. They came to Lonsis from Mondas after its destruction in The Tenth Planet and, after their defeat in this story, will escape to Telos where they entomb themselves and are later sealed in by the Second Doctor. The planet is bombarded by humans at the end of the Cyber-Wars. At some point, they will "give help" to the people of Red Rocket Rising, as seen in the end of Blood of the Daleks.
• The Doctor previously worked in an office in World Enough and Time.

The Inquisitor's Judgement: The series finale isn't as much of a blockbuster as its first story, taking a little too long to get started and perhaps not being quite as high-concept, but it's a satisfying end to the first series of the Eighth Doctor Adventures. As a good story, it earns a B.

Eighth Doctor Adventures

No More Lies  |  Human Resources  |  Dead London

No More Lies review [Paul Sutton]

The Doctor and Lucie chase a criminal before finding they've arrived thirty years into his future, where he's living in England, married to a Hungarian and has been a well-behaved citizen for all that time. He also happens to be in a time loop that external forces wish to penetrate.

When and Where: It is England 2006, after Phobos and before Human Resources.

The Doctor's Case:

• The story begins in media res, which is unusual for Doctor Who in audio and on TV. Its use here keeps the Eighth Doctor Adventures fresh and shows how the Doctor and Lucie have grown, working together and sharing banter more playful than in Blood of the Daleks or Immortal Beloved.
• The Doctor says that he feels bad about manipulating people. Whilst this isn't explored, its another hint of the darkness of this Doctor that was brought up in Phobos. It's especially important in that, only in his previous incarnation, he was an arch-manipulator. Either Seventh began feeling guilty about his actions by the end of his life or Eighth feels regret for what he did in his last life.
• Zimmerman and his wife Rachel are this week's couple (after Zeus/Hera and Kai/Eris) and their tragedy is a sad one. The twist that the time loop doesn't exist to punish Zimmerman but that he set it up himself to spend one day with his wife forever is heartbreaking, as is her insisting that he accept her death.

The Valeyard's Case:

• Beginning in the middle of the story can be a good idea if the rest of the story is sufficiently explained later. However, we know very little of how the Doctor and Lucie got involved with Zimmerman.
• The time loop isn't really explored at all. We're told that it exists and why but don't see any of its effects bar a bit of deja vu.

Witness Protection: The Headhunter arrives at the end of the story, capturing and kidnapping Lucie.

This Reminds Me...:

• The Doctor mentions Ramsey, the pet Vortisaur that he and Charley took in after they met in Storm Warning and that they released into the time vortex in Minuet in Hell.

The Inquisitor's Judgement: No More Lies is a character-centric story that focuses on Zimmerman, a villain who has been sufficiently rehabilitated and well-behaved (aside from cheating on his wife) for thirty years. The Headhunter arc is reaching its climax now with Lucie being kidnapped and the Doctor coming to save her. This is a good story and deserves a B.

Eighth Doctor Adventures

Phobos  |  No More Lies  |  Human Resources

Phobos review [Eddie Robson]

The Doctor and Lucie land on one of Mars's moon, Phobos, which is home to an unfinished ski resort that attracts adrenaline-seekers. But there are things lurking in the snow. Things that Kai Tobias warns everyone about. Things that have killed.

When and Where: The year is 2589 and the location is an incomplete resort on Phobos, one of the moons of Mars. This story takes place after Immortal Beloved and before No More Lies.

The Doctor's Case:

• A Good Quotation:
• "You're telling me this is natural?" / "Everything here is. That's why we come. You can't get a properly authentic experience on Earth anymore."
• "If it's not a really rude question, what is he?"
• "I've seen entire species destroyed, civilisations left in ruins. I've witnessed solar systems vanish in the twinkling of an eye. I've seen things that would freeze your blood, so don't threaten me. Don't ever threaten me."
• It's the future and the Earth has been urbanised and built upon so much by humans that you have to go to a Martian moon to get an authentic experience of adrenaline-seeking. It's this sort of fascinating idea that Doctor Who can explore but doesn't too often, like with the mood pills in Gridlock.
• There are some hints of Paradise Towers in this story. The adrenaline-seekers are drennies and the setting, rather than a forgotten residential block, is an unfinished resort inhabited by squatters.
• The funniest moment of this story is easily when the Doctor confronts Kai, saying, "Kai, I'm in a bad mood and if you say 'what are you talking about?' during this conversation then I will break something." Later on in the conversation, Kai inevitably feigns ignorance and we hear an object smash on the floor.
• After Cribbins and McNeice, this week's big star is Timothy West, who gives a great performance as the well-meaning killer Kai Tobias. 

The Valeyard's Case:

• A Bad Quotation:
• "I feel the need for speed."
• "I don't know what you're capable of anymore."
• The cool kid drennies are sometimes the victims of embarrassing attempts to make them sound hip. One half of the gay couple uses the word "cool" a few times too many, and delivers the line "I feel the need for speed".
• The Doctor and Lucie spend another audio almost entirely apart from one another. Having them apart and following different plot strands make for more varied storytelling but doesn't a great pairing make. Ninth and Rose were together for most of series 1, allowing us to get to know the two, enjoy the chemistry and explore their relationship. This is what was done with the Eighth Doctor and Charley, which made them a popular and successful duo. The Doctor and Charley, of course, had longer adventures but Ninth's and Rose's were just as long as the Eighth Doctor Adventures and managed it.

Witness Protection: The Headhunter shows up at the end again, swearing that she'll get Lucie next time.

This Reminds Me...:

• A creature that feeds off of fear also appeared in the Seventh Doctor story The Fearmonger, although with a very different M.O.
• Nerys Hughes also played Rhys's mother Brenda Williams in Torchwood.
• The Doctor says that he has known savages with better manners than Lucie, perhaps referring to Leela.
• You can tell that the Eighth Doctor Adventures was written during the Russell T. Davies era, with a rare appearance of a gay character and an alien-human relationship, just like in Gridlock.
• The Doctor defeats the entity in a similar way that the Eleventh Doctor tried to defeat the villain of The Rings of Akhaten. Before Clara saved the day with her leaf, of course.

The Inquisitor's Judgement: Phobos is very much a New Who story and a good one at that. The Eighth Doctor, who hasn't yet been explored very much in the Eighth Doctor Adventures, shows signs of darkness and weariness whilst we've learnt little more about Lucie's character or backstory. The twists are satisfying and the idea about adrenaline sweetening fear for the entity's survival is an original one. There isn't very much new or exciting about this story but it's good, and that earns it a B.

Eighth Doctor Adventures

Immortal Beloved  |  Phobos  |  No More Lies

Immortal Beloved review [Jonathan Clements]

There is a planet ruled by two gods, whose divine chariots are helicopters and whose magic wands are guns. A couple are ready to jump to their deaths to escape them before two new gods appear in a blue box.

Where and When: This story takes place in a colony in the 34th century. For the Doctor and Lucie, this is after Horror of Glam Rock and before Phobos.

The Doctor's Case:

• A Good Quotation:
• "I am Lucie of... the M62. And this is my bumbling assistant, the Doctor."
• "She was operating the brainwashing, clone-swapping machine, all bent over and horrible." / "That's my wife." / "... I'm sure she has a lovely personality."
• "I missed out on a snog. Kalkin's really fit."
• The premise is an interesting if not entirely original one - transferring one's mind into new bodies so as to live forever, seen relatively recently in Tomb Raider. Here, however, the transferers are posing as gods and the transferees are clones. The ethical dilemma is similar to that presented in The Rebel Flesh and The Almost People but is explored in a far better way, with clones on both sides of the debate.
• The cast is wonderful. Ian McNeice and Elspet Gray do a fantastic job as Zeus and Hera and are definitely the show-stealing guest stars of this story. It's a testament to Big Finish that so far this series they've had Bernard Cribbins and now McNeice and Gray appearing in major roles.

The Valeyard's Case:

• A Bad Quotation:
• Kalkin and Sararti aren't the most engaging characters and it's difficult to buy their love when they spend so little quality time together aside from their planned lovers' leap at the beginning. They're majorly overshadowed by Zeus and Hera, who are far more interesting.
• With the shorter running time of the Eighth Doctor Adventures, there's less room for depth which is certainly a problem with Immortal Beloved. If this had been a Main Range release, we could have learnt more about Kalkin and Sararti, the world that Zeus and Hera have been ruling over and how their ritual began. 

Witness Protection: There's no appearance by the Headhunter in this story, which is for the best. It would be silly to have her walk in at the end of every story.

His Constant Companion: General Ares is shot by Prince Kalkin, but his mind is then transferred into a clone of his called Tayden. The elderly Hera dies before she can be transferred into Sararti, who repeatedly stabs Zeus.

I'll Explain Later:

• Didn't the Doctor and Lucie decide at the end of Horror of Glam Rock to travel the universe together? Immortal Beloved begins shortly afterwards, with the Doctor trying to get her home.
• Why does the mind have to be transferred into an identical brain? Crozier managed to transfer Lord Kiv into Peri in Mindwarp. Perhaps it's a case of differing technologies.

This Reminds Me...:

• An old man reclaiming his youth is also the main plot point of The Lazarus Experiment.
• In the previous Eighth Doctor Adventure, we listened to Bernard Cribbins, AKA Wilfred Mott. In this release, we listen to Ian McNeice who will go on to play Winston Churchill in The Beast Below (briefly), Victory of the Daleks, The Pandorica Opens and The Wedding of River Song and later have his own Special Releases - The Churchill Years. In the Behind the Scenes feature, McNeice expresses a desire to play a bad guy on the show.
• The late Blackadder actress Elspet Gray played Thalia in Arc of Infinity and Jake McGann will later play the Doctor's great-grandson in An Earthly Child, Relative Dimensions, Lucie Miller and To the Death.
• The Doctor mentions his granddaughter, who he hasn't seen since the Fifth Doctor watched the First return her to the 22nd century in The Five Doctors. He'll be seeing her again soon, in An Earthly Child.
• A young-looking Doctor mentions having a granddaughter in passing in The Rings of Akhaten as well.

The Inquisitor's Judgement: Immortal Beloved presents a moral issue about what makes us human but doesn't explore it that much: Zeus and Hera see their clones as little more than clothes that they have to don every thirty years in order to continue ruling over the colony, Kalkin and Sararti see themselves as individuals and that they should be allowed to have a life together, and Ganymede sees becoming Zeus's new body someday as his reason for existing, declaring his life to have been ruined after Zeus is thwarted, but this is all skin-deep. Ultimately, there's very little going on so, whilst it's an okay story with an interesting premise, it's not as enjoyable as the first two Eighth Doctor Adventures. It is okay, which earns it a C.

Eighth Doctor Adventures

Horror of Glam Rock  |  Immortal Beloved  |  Phobos

Horror of Glam Rock review [Paul Magrs]

A creature lurks in the snow around Bramlington services, where prospective pop stars the Tomorrow Twins have stopped with their manager. The Doctor and Lucie arrive after aiming for Lucie's time. Can the time-travelling duo save the Tomorrow Twins and, more importantly (in manager Arnold's opinion), their career?

When and Where?: This story takes place at the Nadir Motorway Service Station in Bramlington in 1974. For both the Doctor and Lucie, this is after Blood of the Daleks and before Immortal Beloved.

The Doctor's Case:

• A Good Quotation:
• "I like a bit of handbag, don't you, Doctor?" / "Not a great deal, no." / "Oh, you surprise me."
• "We will be with you, Tommy."
• So the Doctor's mission this series is to get Lucie home, just as was the case with Ian and Barbara in season 1 and season 2. If this was made apparent from Blood of the Daleks, it would have sounded like an idea doomed to fail. Listening to the Doctor try to get rid of a young woman that he doesn't like for at least eight discs isn't a great pitch and doesn't make for a fun time. When the Doctor and Lucie exit the TARDIS and discuss the '70s like friends complete with Lucie subtly trying to find out if the Doctor is gay, it's not unlike the moment at the beginning of The Mysterious Planet where Sixth and Peri are suddenly getting along. It's a relief. It almost wouldn't be surprising if a number of new stories were released between Blood of the Daleks and this story because the relationship between the two is so much more pleasant. At the end, the Doctor and Lucie fly off as companions to explore the cosmos, which is a lot more fun than the Tegan-Heathrow sort of series.
• After the darkness and seriousness of Blood of the Daleks, it makes sense to have a lighter and more comic story to follow, especially since the Eighth Doctor Adventures aired on the radio and were geared towards the wider audience introduced by the 2005 revival. The story is a love letter and nostalgia trip to the '70s and to glam rock, which is something that's never been touched on in Doctor Who even when it was airing in that decade. There is, however, a certain sorrow that's subtly woven through the story - Flo has worked at the services for years and probably always will, Arnold knows very well the feeling of failure in the music industry and that's what Tommy Tomorrow and Pat (as Lucie informs her) will feel. Glam rock doesn't survive past the '80s and there will be very few survivors.
• A services on the M62 in 1974 is the perfect place for your modern base-under-siege story. It's a quaint, normal and boring location that makes it the ideal place for Doctor Who.
• Bernard Cribbins (who would go on to play Donna's grandfather Wilfred Mott) does a great job as Arnold, as expected.

The Valeyard's Case:

• A Bad Quotation:
• The story is wrapped up very quickly, with the Doctor trapping the Only Ones in Lucie's iPod as a track that she should never play. It's a satisfying way to defeat them, but it comes out of nowhere and, once they've been trapped, the story's over. There should have been some mourning over Trisha by Arnold or some more talk between Lucie and Pat, with Lucie assuring her that she isn't nothing in the future.
• Why did the writer bring back Arnold? He was an unlikeable man (made somewhat likeable by the warm tones of the great Bernard Cribbins) who sacrificed himself, but then we find out that he survived. Being selfless redeemed the usually selfish character who only cares about success and he should have died in that moment rather than showing up at the end.
• Although the change in the Doctor and Lucie's demeanour towards one another is a welcome one, it's somewhat out of the blue and there should perhaps have been an Edge of Destruction before this story. (The good bits, that is. No scissors.)

Witness Protection: The Headhunter arrives at the services just after the Doctor and Lucie have left.

His Constant Companion: A drunk man gets mauled outside of the services by the Old Ones, as is Trisha after Arnold takes her and Tommy outside. The Only Ones aren't killed but trapped on Lucie's iPod by the Doctor.

This Reminds Me...:

• Creatures made out of soundwaves also appear in Whispers of Terror and Criss-Cross.
• A rock version of the Doctor Who theme song will later be played by the Twelfth Doctor during the opening titles of Before the Flood.
• The Only Ones are beautiful and wraith-like, sort of like the Gelth in The Unquiet Dead.
• Lucie isn't the only companion who meets a family member in the past. Ace met her mother and grandmother in The Curse of Fenric, Helen visits her brother in Absent Friends and Rose met her father in Father's Day.

The Inquisitor's Judgement: This is a solid story with a much friendlier Doctor and more genial Lucie who's now more of a Donna than a Tegan. The story's a lot of fun and well-paced but the ending is far too quick and easy with little in the way of an epilogue and no reflection on the terrible things that have happened. However, Horror of Glam Rock is a good story, and that earns it a B.

Eighth Doctor Adventures

Blood of the Daleks  |  Horror of Glam Rock  |  Immortal Beloved

Blood of the Daleks review [Steve Lyons]

An asteroid hit Red Rocket Rising, causing mass destruction and panic across the humans living there. The politicians are blamed, but never fear. A kindly race offer charity. They too have suffered struggles during their time, and they are here to help. They're called the Daleks.

Where and When?: This story takes place on Red Rocket Rising. For the Doctor, this is after Running Out of Time and before Horror of Glam Rock.

The Doctor's Case:

• A Good Quotation:
• "People of Red Rocket Rising, my fellow citizens. Our long night is over. I've been contacted by a benevolent people. They too have known great trials, but they have overcome them and made it their mission to help others do the same. They have offered us refuge, and passage to the nearest human worlds. They have the resources, and the patience and compassion, to evacuate every one of us. My fellow citizens, my friends, rescue is at hand!"
• "Yeah, bye, bored now."
• By the time Christopher Eccleston graced our screens as the Ninth Doctor, the Eighth Doctor's main range stories were deep into its Charley arc. The BBC wanted to have Doctor Who on the radio for the new audience of people introduced by the new TV series, leading Big Finish to cut the Divergent Universe arc short and begin the Eighth Doctor Adventures with a clean slate. The Doctor is travelling alone, Lucie is introduced and there are no references to his previous companions or Big Finish adventures, deliberately making Blood of the Daleks a great starting point for new listeners.
• Just as Donna Noble later would, Lucie Miller appears in the TARDIS console room without explanation. Why, in 2006, did both the show and Big Finish introduce companions this way? Because it's a great idea. The Doctor travels time and space, dropping in and out of people's lives and sometimes taking people away with him as his travelling companion, and it's about time that someone was dropped in on him. The original idea was to have a Time Lord appear to explain the situation to the Doctor but fortunately this snooze of a scene was jettisoned for a more explosive entrance and to inject a bit of mystery. Rather than introducing another Charley, Big Finish does an anti-Storm Warning. Whereas the Doctor and Charley were magnetic, the Doctor and Lucie don't very much like one another, although this isn't unbearable like the Sixth Doctor and Peri. 
• It might be considered somewhat uncharacteristic of the Eighth Doctor to act how he does towards her, but one should remember that this takes place not long after C'rizz's death and Charley's departure. He's a moodier man than he was with Charley and is certainly a different man from the carefree man we were reintroduced to in Storm Warning. It's an interesting choice for Big Finish to make - they seem to have chosen to go in the vein of Christopher Eccleston's dark side. 
  
• The politicians aren't necessarily portrayed as the nicest of people (which is nothing new), but the mob are seen to be up in arms against politicians just because it's nice to have someone to blame and politicians are always the first. The Doctor says with irony to the crowd that they should have been able to predict the crashing of the asteroid, which the crowd seem to think on for the briefest of moments before deciding to carry on with their hunt. This is an angle we don't often see given how much politicians are vilified in the real world.
• There are some ideas which seem so obvious that you wonder why they haven't been done before. Here, we have Martez creating his (or her) own Daleks from damaged ones that she found. The scene where one of them dies with Martez assuring it that it is a superior being because of its human blood is strangely touching and sad.
• A car being totalled after crashing into the TARDIS, which stands resolute and unscratched, is a great visual that it's a shame we have to use our imagination for.

The Valeyard's Case:

• A Bad Quotation:
• "This is not a date!"
• To introduce a new companion and reintroduce the Eighth Doctor (again) to a new audience, and to then have the two bicker for the first fifteen minutes and then spend most of the story apart isn't the best idea. Storm Warning (which keeps coming up; you can tell which story I've listened to recently) doesn't have a great plot or a great villain, but it works because of the wonderful interactions between the Doctor and Charley. The Doctor and Lucie don't like each other but it would have been a better idea to have them stay together and show at least some respect develop between the two. It means that we leave the story not feeling particularly warmed to either of them. At least it's not Sixth and Peri, though.
• The reason that Martez thinks that her Daleks are the future for humankind isn't explained. Finding a Dalek wreckage and then deciding that humans becoming this creature would be the best option for her species is something of a leap in logic.

Witness Protection: Lucie has been dropped into the TARDIS by the Time Lords as part of a witness protection program. A Mr Hulbert has hired a bounty hunter called the Headhunter to track her down and take her into her custody for reasons unknown.

His Constant Companion: The driver of the solar-powered car dies after hitting the TARDIS. Martez is killed by her own Daleks after she stops producing them, and her Daleks are exterminated by true Daleks.

I'll Explain Later:

• The Doctor tells Lucie off for leaving the TARDIS before he had time to check the readings. Has he even done that since his first incarnation? It's certainly not been second nature to him in a few centuries.

This Reminds Me...:

• The Doctor mentions being there at the Daleks' very beginning (Genesis of the Daleks) and fighting against them in various wars (The Daleks' Master Plan, etc.)
• The Doctor wishes that Daleks could be good, a hope that the Twelfth Doctor has in Into the Dalek.
• Davros made Daleks out of humans in Revelation of the Daleks and the Emperor did it in Bad Wolf, resulting in self-hating Daleks. The New Dalek Paradigm in Victory of the Daleks are similarly disgusted by the Daleks made from Davros's cells and destroy them.
• The Doctor says that the Daleks are always in a war, asking if they have recently been fighting the Mechonoids (from The Chase), the Movellans (from Destiny of the Daleks) or each other (like in The Evil of the Daleks, Resurrection of the Daleks, Revelation of the Daleks, The Juggernauts and Remembrance of the Daleks).
• Red Rocket Rising have more help arriving, this time from Telos, the post-Mondas world of the Cybermen seen in The Tomb of the Cybermen and Attack of the Cybermen.

The Inquisitor's Judgement: Blood of the Daleks is a good start to the Eighth Doctor Adventures and a jumping on point for the Modern Who fan who prefers their stories at a snappy 50 minutes rather than the considerably longer Main Range releases. Neither Lucie nor the Doctor are at their friendliest here and the two spend quite some time apart, which is a shame and keeps us from instantly falling in love with the pair as is so easy with Ninth and Rose, Eighth and Charley or Sixth and Evelyn. Overall, however, Blood of the Daleks is a very good story, earning it an A.

Eighth Doctor Adventures

Blood of the Daleks  |  Horror of Glam Rock

The Eighth Doctor's Timeline
Running Out of Time  |  Blood of the Daleks  |  Horror of Glam Rock